The Problem of Motherhood

Simply put: there's just no healthy competition.

What can I possibly mean by this absurd comment about the all-consuming vocation of motherhood? Motherhood simply does not and cannot thrive on competition. In fact, competition is almost antithetical to the task before me. Yet for someone who loves the rush and edge that comes from a competitive game, this can be very tiresome. I can never win as a mother. The game is never over, with my sorry opponents limping back to their locker rooms to lick their wounds. My performance in the match won't raise my value or make me the MVP. A crowd isn't there to cheer me on and give me that adrenaline rush to push meI am through to the end even when I am weary beyond belief. Motherhood is just hard. No cheerleaders, no time limit, and not really any rules.

How can we measure our progress as mothers? Is it the amount of patience we display during the day? Or the ease with which we can whip up a meal for six people? Perhaps it's the number of children we can carry at one time, the spotlessness of our bathrooms (ha!), or our overwhelming charm while sporting the latest maternity fashions... Sometimes I wish parenting had a referee, rules, and a clear end. First one to twenty-one. Two out of three. Best of six. I win, and now you must all bow down to me..