Sunday, July 20, 2008

Faux Pas

A faux pas was committed before my very eyes this morning. A bug. In my shower. His faux pas, literally, "false step" was not one of fashion or social mishap, no, it cost him his life.

While lathering yummy Herbal Essence shampoo in my hair, I spy the forlorn, leggy black creature mockingly crawling around the top edge of the tile. Inwardly I want to scream and make someone, anyone, come kill it for me but outwardly I remain calm and simply proceed with my routine, although I do pick up the conditioner bottle and contemplate smashing him. I reject this as messy and unnecessary. I resolve to ignore him. This, however, proves to be very difficult as he crawls from one end of the shower to the other, just above eye level. I must keep watch lest he come closer, or disappear! Then, just when I think I can take it no longer, he makes a move off the edge of the tile and starts his descent. But then, the faux pas, he hits a droplet of water and gravity takes its course. He plummets to the tub floor, the tub that usually bothers me because it doesn't drain well. But today is my lucky day. His false step sent him to his death--a watery, thankless death without grace. Good bye bug. No more faux pas for you. (by the way, what is the plural of faux pas, anyone?)

4 comments:

  1. Wikipedia gives "faux pas" as the plural for faux pas. As a sometimes speaker of french, I'd say this makes sense. Pas can't be pluralized, and a word ending in 'x' generally remains the same in its plural form.

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  2. Ha ha! Your stories make me laugh. You are kinder than me. I simply smoosh them on sight.

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  3. What a gentle, compassionate soul you are! I would have shuddered and killed him immediately. But I am glad you didn't so we could enjoy your story and descriptions. ( :

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  4. nothing unnerves me more than bugs in the bathroom. i think because it's so unnatural. Bugs outside? Ok. Bugs in the kitchen? Gross but understandable. Bugs in the shower?? aaahhhh!

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