Monday, September 15, 2008

Correspondence Guilt

Does this sound familiar? If you've ever felt snubbed by a lack of correspondence, take heart.

First thing in the morning, I think, "Gosh, I should really call Gina. How long has it been since we had a phone conversation? Months...? And how long since I sent a decent e-mail. Weeks...? Okay, let's do it right now. Oh wait, she's at work..."

That night, right before dinner, I think, "I can do it right now, I've got half an hour. Call Gina. Oh, but she deserves a longer, less rushed conversation than that... I'll just call tomorrow."

I think about it at eleven the next morning when Dominic is sleeping. "Perfect, I'll call now. Dang-it. She works during the day (like most people). I have to remember to call tonight, then." The night goes by and I forget about it in the whirl of company. "Tomorrow, I say." The next night I am just so tired. "Tonight I'm not really going to be a good conversationalist. I should call when I have more energy and can carry on an interesting conversation. After all, it has been a few months since we've talked. I owe it to Gina..."

And so it goes on. Then there are times when I do call and get the answering machine. In some ways that's a relief. I can leave a message, letting Gina know that I do care and I took the time to call. I wanted to have a conversation. And it would have been an amazing one, she just wasn't home. Now the ball is in her court. Catch me when you can.

Or, even worse, I have been guilty of calling at a time when I'm pretty sure they'll be out just so that I can leave a message. I reserved this tactic for busy times during college...

And this is the silly way that I allow my correspondence to slide...

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